Delegation
by x-NewGirlInTown-x
Summary: Written for The Proverb Challenge. All dialogue. Well, the Marauders' dorm is in a mess, but who's gonna be left to tidy it up? Read and find out! Please RxR.


**Disclaimer:** J.K Rowling owns every last piece of this franchise. I'm just using her creations for my own amusement :)

**A/N:** FINALLY! That's all I can say - I've had this challenge under my wing (or arm, whichever XD) for a while now, being unable to resist when I saw it, but man! It was harder than I thought. The challenge was to write a fic inspired by a proverb given by the challenge creator **_lilkyonkyon _**(who gets a huge thank you, by the way :D) My proverb was:

A courtyard common to all is swept by none. ~ Chinese Proverb.

As ever, I was inspired to write a Marauder-era fic, although I chose to go for all dialogue this time, something I've never tried before. Still, I gave it a go, and here's what I came up with. Hopefully, it's a funny little one-shot you'll all enjoy. Please review!

* * *

"Well, here it is. Welcome to the Marauders' humble-"

"Oh sweet _Merlin_!"

"Lily? What is it?"

"Uhhh, James...is there any valid reason that your dorm looks _and_ smells like it was just hit by a very sizeable, very toxic bomb?"

"..."

"_Well?_"

"What do you mean?"

"What do I _mean_? Merlin James, just look at the carpet!"

"...what carpet?"

"_Exactly! _When was the last time you tidied up?"

"Uhhh, well...I mean, I think it was...emmm..."

"Are you trying to tell me that I'm dating a guy that hasn't cleaned up after himself since September?"

"Well, maybe, but...I mean...I don't need to clean up though."

"And why not, may I ask?"

"Simple. Uhh..."

"..."

"It's because, ummm..."

"..."

"Sirius'll do it! Yeah, Sirius."

"Sirius?"

"Yeah."

"Sirius _Black_?"

"Yeah..."

"So _Sirius_ is going to clean this whole dorm?"

"Yes!"

"Even the underwear?"

"Exact- oh, hey Sirius."

"Prongs, Lily. I believe you both know Marlene."

"Hey Lil- Oh my God, what the hell _happened_ in here? Merlin, did someone _die_?"

"Don't worry love, Prongs is going to clean it up just as soon as Lily leaves, aren't you mate?"

"Actually Pads, I was just telling Lily about how you're going to clean it up. It is, er, mostly yours, after all..."

"Like hell it is! Who do the boxers on my bed belong to, hmmm?"

"Errrr...well, me, but-"

"Ewww! That's disgusting! Isn't it disgusting Lily?"

"You took the words out of my mouth, Marlene. I say we go and let both of these guys _tidy up_."

"Now, now Lils, no need to be hasty! We'll get it clean again."

"Oh yeah? How?"

"..."

"..."

"We'll make Remus do it."

"Excellent idea, Padfoot! See Lily, problem solved."

"Hello Prongs, Padfoot." A pause. "Ladies."

"Hello, Remus. How're you?"

"I'm fine thanks, Lily. What's going on?"

"Well, funny you should mention it Moony, but the girls and us were just talking about how we need to have a little bit of a spring clean around here, what d'ya reckon?"

"I think that's a pretty good idea James, if I'm honest."

"Brilliant! Well, in that case, we'll let you get on!"

"...Excuse me?"

"Oh come on, Moony, you old dog! We just thought, you know, since you're the most organised and everything..."

"And the tidiest..."

"That I'd take Lily, Sirius'd take Marlene, and we'd get out of your hair for a bit. OK?"

"..."

"Moony?"

"Ahahahahahahaha!"

"What's so funny?"

"What's funny, Sirius, is your deluded idea that I'd even _contemplate_ cleaning this room up for you."

"Aww, come on now Remus, we do all share it..."

"Precisely my point. And, as you both so kindly pointed out, I'm by far the neatest person in this dorm. So why on earth should _I_ be the one to tidy it up?"

"_Because_ you're so neat! You'd have it ship-shape in no time!"

"Nice try, but the answer's still no."

"Awww, come on, Remus! Please?"

"James, I hate to tell you this, but you're sounding kind of desperate."

"And pathetic."

"_Lily!_"

"Well, it's true! Merlin, you can't even clean _up_ after yourself? It's not the most attractive feature in a boyfriend, James."

"She has a point, Prongs..."

"I dunno what you're so smug about either, Black! Didn't you notice Marlene sneaking out about an hour ago?"

"..."

"I didn't think so. I'm leaving."

"Lily, wait!"

"Not a chance, Potter. Let me know one it's safe to come back here _without_ choking on toxic fumes, and then we'll see."

"..."

"Well, Jamesey boy, it looks like you've got the most invested in getting this room tidy again, so I'd say that makes it your responsibilty."

"Bugger off, Sirius. I still say _you_ should do it, since you so rudely interrupted me and my girlfriend before."

"If you want to play it that way mate, I say _you_ interrupted me and _my_ girlfriend - it's my dorm too, you know."

"Which is exactly why you should help clean it!"

"Woah, now just slow down a minute there, Prongs! What I _meant_ to say was that-"

"A courtyard common to all is swept by none."

"..."

"You what?"

"It's a Chinese Proverb, Sirius."

"Proverb? What, you mean those really smart muggle blokes that spout all that metaphorical crap?"

"As ever, Padfoot, your articulation astounds me."

"...Well, Remus, how would you like to prove one of them wrong, eh? Imagine that, smarter than a proverb! It'd be brilliant mate, you know it would be!"

"Do you have a point?"

"Well, here's your courtyard, Moony - I'll just nip along to the kitchens and get you a brush."

"You know what Sirius, I reckon I'll join you. Moony, we'll just slip out for a minute and then-"

"Either of you take one more step, and I don't think I'll have to tell you which part of your bodies that I'll hex that brush you're getting _to_."

"Remus!"

"Well, I'm serious James - I'm not cleaning up this room alone. Forget it."

"Actually, _I'm_ Sirius, and I say I'm not cleaning up at all. And as leader of our esteemed group-"

"Hold on! Who in the name of Merlin's pants made _you_ leader?"

"It's just the natural way of things, Prongs. Don't worry though, I'm willing to delegate certain duties to my second-in-command..."

"In your dreams, mate! If anyone gets to be leader, surely I-"

"Sorry, Prongs, no way. You've got Head Boy, Remus made Prefect...I'm the only one of the Marauders without some real authority! You wouldn't take my only chance at that away from me now, would you Prongsy?"

"Nice try, mate, but there's no way that bull's working on me. You don't have any authority because you don't _want_ it. And besides, you're not the only one - what about Pete, eh?"

"..."

"Hang on..."

"..."

"Peter!"

"You know, the way you said that iin exact unison was almost frightening."

"Pipe down, Moony, genius in progress. This is brilliant, Prongs! All we have to do is wait for Peter to get here and then-"

"A-and then wh-what?"

"Peter, good to see you mate!"

"Yeah, Wormtail, it's been too long!"

"T-too long? I just saw you all at l-lunch. Remus?"

"Peter, whatever you do, don't-"

"Well, Pete, we were all just discussing it, and the vote was unianimous. Wasn't it guys?"

"Well, actually, James, I don't remember-"

"Yup, we've all decided that it's time for me to step down as leader-"

"You _weren't_ leader!"

"-and re-elect. And we've decided on you mate."

"M-me? Really?"

"Actually Peter, James and Sirius are just-"

"Now, Remus, don't you dare steal this moment from him!"

"Yeah, Pete deserves this honour! Unless _you'd _rather take it, Moony?"

"..."

"_Well?"_

"Sorry Peter, I have to go. Prefect rounds."

"That's what I thought. See you later! Now, what d'ya say Pete?"

"Ready for the challenge?"

"Well, I-I-"

"'Cause you know, we could alway pass it to someone else."

"Plenty of people willing to fill my shoes, like young James here. If you're not ready..."

"N-no, no! I'm ready!"

"Excellent!"

"Elementary!"

"Spiffing!"

"Splendid!"

"Divine!"

"And done!"

"..."

"Well, we'll leave you to it, Wormtail."

"Emmm...to wh-what, exactly?"

"Well, my friend, with great power..."

"...comes great responsibility, right Prongs?"

"Too right, Padfoot. So we'll just leave you to clean the dorm, Pete, and we'll see you at dinner."

"Bye, Wormtail."

"W-wait a second!"

"Yes, oh mighty leader?"

"W-well, Padfoot, it's just that I could have sworn before I came in I heard you say..."

"Yes?"

"That a leader g-gets to delegate. So sorry boys, but I think I'll leave you two to cl-clean up, and I'll see you b-both at dinner. Bye!"

"..."

"..."

"Well, Prongs, as the esteemed leader of our group I'll just..."

"Sirius? Sirius, get _back_ here!"

"..."

"Great."

* * *

**A/N: **Let me know what you guys think! :)


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